If you’re unfamiliar with the whole premise of the show, Spongebob works the grill at the Krusty Krab, where he takes great pride in his job as a fry cook, flipping burgers with his favorite spatula all day long.  A recurring theme throughout the series is the evil Plankton’s quest for the Krabby Patty secret formula, which of course, is never divulged.

Well, here’s what a Krabby Patty would taste like if I ran the Krusty Krab!

These burgers are made from the ahi tuna steaks that are on sale this week.  The recipe, which I originally saw a year ago in Fine Cooking, has spicy Thai flavors and a sweet and salty dipping sauce.  One note about the sauce:  it’s PUNGENT.  Truthfully, I didn’t like it at first, but it definitely grew on me.  Here’s a suggestion:  if you make the sauce and you think it’s too strong, put a little mayonnaise in a small mixing bowl.  Add the dipping sauce by the tablespoon until you get the flavor and consistency that you like (for me it was about 3 tablespoons, plus a little extra chili garlic sauce).

Also, it’s pretty important that you use your tuna rather quickly after you buy it; I mean, don’t let it sit around in your fridge for days on end.  These burgers are best served medium-rare on the inside, so keep it fresh.  Trust me.  And don’t over cook them or they will be dry, and dry tuna is no good!  We had basmati rice and steamed asparagus, which were good sides.

By the way, do you think the residents of Bikini Bottom would balk at my tuna version of Krabby Patties?  It might present an ethical issue for them, now that I think about it…because, after all, most of the Krusty Krab’s customers are FISH…maybe I should re-think my ingredients.

In the meantime, enjoy!

FRESH AHI TUNA BURGERS WITH GINGER & CILANTRO

Serves:  4

Source:  Fine Cooking Magazine, August/September 2008 issue, p.48.

For the Tuna Burgers:

• 1 lb. fresh ahi tuna steaks
• 2 T. chopped fresh cilantro
• 2 T. finely chopped scallion
• 2 T. mayonnaise
• 1 t. minced ginger
• 1 t. chili garlic sauce (find this in the Asian aisle; I like the Lee Kum Kee brand)
• Salt & black pepper
• 2 T. cooking oil

For the Dipping Sauce:

• ¼ c. fresh lime juice
• 2 ½ T. sugar
• 2 T. fish sauce
• 1 ½ t. rice vinegar
• Pinch of finely chopped cilantro
• 1 t. chili garlic sauce

With a very sharp knife, chop the tuna in to ¼” dice.  Alternately, cut the tuna into chunks and pulse in a food processor until just chopped (about 4 quick pulses).  Don’t over-process.  Gently stir in the cilantro, scallion, mayonnaise, ginger, chili garlic sauce, ¾ t. salt, and ¼ t. black pepper.  Shape the tuna mixture into 4 equal 1”-thick patties.  Refrigerate, uncovered, for at least 20 minutes and up to 4 hours.

Meanwhile, make the sauce:  combine all of the ingredients in a small bowl and stir until the sugar is dissolved.  Let stand at least 30 minutes before serving to let the flavors blend.

Heat the oil in a 12” skillet over medium-high heat.  Cook the tuna burgers until nicely browned on both sides but still pink in the center, 2-4 minutes total.  Serve with the Thai-Style Dipping Sauce.

Wanna make some new friends, or endear yourself to the friends you already have?  Make a few phone calls, whip up a platter of these little lovelies, and your pals will come crawling out of the woodwork in no time flat.

When I saw that these Cleaned, Super Jumbo Shrimp (‘jumbo shrimp’ – isn’t that an oxymoron?) were going on sale this week, I knew it was the perfect time to share this tried-and-true recipe with you.  The list of ingredients is short, the prep work is minimal, and the steps are few.  Delicious with a light white wine or chilly cocktail, these shrimp are the perfect summer hors’doeuvre!

Serve them at your next get-together, cocktail party, or neighborhood throw-down, and watch them disappear!

A few tips:  while you’re heating up your pan, drain off the shrimp and blot away any excess liquid.  I like to spread them on a layer or two of paper towels, then pat them dry with some additional towels.  If you throw the shrimp into the pan while they’re soaking wet, they’re going to steam instead of sauté.  Blech.  I would hate for that to happen to you.

Also, feel free to adjust the levels of lemon and lime juice to your personal taste.  The batch I just made could have stood a bit more citrus flavor, in my opinion.

CITRUS SHRIMP WITH ROASTED RED PEPPERS & SCALLIONS

Serves:  4-6, Appetizer Portions

Source:  I have absolutely no idea, this recipe has been in my file for years!  I think it came from my Aunt Vickie, so we’ll just give her the credit if that’s all right with you.

• 1 lbs. raw shrimp, peeled and deveined (use the sale ones, 16-20 count)
• olive oil
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 T. minced ginger
• 1 T. fresh lemon juice
• 1 T. fresh lime juice
• 1/4 c. chopped chives or scallions, plus additional for garnish
• 1 roasted red bell pepper, chopped (jarred roasted peppers if you like)
• Lemon and lime wedges for garnish

Place a large saute pan over medium high heat. Add enough olive oil to coat the bottom of the pan (maybe a tablespoon or so?). Saute the shrimp for two minutes, or until cooked through. Remove shrimp with a slotted spoon and set aside in a glass bowl.

Add a little bit more oil to the pan and saute the garlic and ginger until golden. Remove from heat. Add in the citrus juices; stir to combine. Pour this mixture over the shrimp, season with salt, and toss to coat. Chill for two to three hours, stirring occasionally. Add the roasted red bell pepper and scallions; toss to combine. Pour onto a pretty platter, garnish with additional chives and citrus wedges. Lastly, you’ll definitely want to sample one or two.  Put the ‘sample tails’ into a little bowl near the platter, just to show your guests where they can put their tails (shrimp tails!) too.  J

I fully admit that I revert back to the mid-80’s when I’m with this particular group – we tend to eat a lot of junk food, and imbibe on a few more cocktails that we typically do in our normal daily lives.  Of course, we put on our 80’s music; this year, our playlist for the weekend was (naturally) monopolized by Michael Jackson.  We stay up ENTIRELY too late (3:10 a.m, thank you very much), dance around in our pajamas, laugh our faces off, and of course, enjoy every minute we have together.

I usually come home from our annual get-together completely exhausted and yes, slightly hungover, needing an alcoholic / caloric detox. So it’s no surprise I was craving ‘light and healthy’ for dinner on Monday night, and decided to go with the Wild Caught Alaskan King Salmon that’s on sale this week.  Limes are also on special, 5 / 1.00, so I chose a Soy Lime Sauce to go along with the fish.  I served it on a bed of Coconut Rice with Scallions and Cilantro, and it was a big hit with the Husband and the kids.

The salmon was ‘sear-roasted’, which is a simple, two step technique that restaurant chefs use to get a gorgeous brown crust on different cuts of meat, poultry, or fish.  The food is quickly seared in a hot, hot pan before going into the oven, where it finishes cooking evenly.  If you can master this skill, you will look like a total pro in the kitchen!  This salmon is the perfect recipe for learning the sear-roasting process.

First of all, you’ll need a heavy, oven-proof pan, preferably not non-stick.  The coatings on non-stick pans generally ‘can’t take the heat’ of a super-hot oven.  You’ll want to heat up your pan over a pretty hot flame (I would call it ‘medium high’); it should be hot enough that a drop of water will evaporate almost immediately on contact with the pan.

Next, add in your oil, and give it a swirl to coat the bottom of the pan. I don’t ever measure; I just add enough oil so that the bottom is nicely coated.  Please don’t skimp, or your fish might stick to your pan, and I would hate to see that happen.

Making sure your salmon is completely dry and nicely seasoned, add the fish to the pan, skinned side up (or, ‘pretty side’ down).  Please, please, please don’t crowd your pan.  Crowding your fish will cause them to steam instead of sear.  If you have to sear the fillets in two batches, that’s okay.

Now.  Here is the secret, and it is a big one.  The key to your searing success is to … are you ready?  Listen closely, please.

DO NOT FIDDLE WITH THE FISH.  Do not touch it, do not scoot it around, do not play with it for a full three minutes.  Got it?  I’m serious.  ‘Cause if you’re lookin’, you ain’t cookin’!

I didn’t make that up, I heard a chef say it once and it’s become my searing motto.  Catchy, right?

When three minutes have passed, you may gently peek at the underside of the fish.  Your salmon should have a beautiful, golden brown crust.  Gently flip the fish over, drizzle it with a bit of sauce (as indicated in the recipe), and place the pan in the oven.  Proceed with the next few steps, then sit back and enjoy the praise that your family will heap upon you at the dinner table.

Oh, one last note:  since I never seem to learn, I give myself a big red flag reminder that the pan (which came out of the oven just a short while ago) is still really, flippin’ HOT.  I now like to leave the potholder on the handle of my pan so as not to burn the heck out of myself… which I’ve done before, and it’s pretty awful.  Just a little tip, for what it’s worth.  Safety first, my friends!

Enjoy!

Sear Roasted Salmon with Soy Lime Reduction

Adapted from Epicurious.com

Serves:  4

• ½ stick butter (try the Alcam, it’s on sale this week)
• 1 small shallot, minced
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• ½ t. red pepper flakes
• ¼ c. brown sugar, packed
• ¼ c. fresh lime juice (please, for goodness sake, do not use bottled lime juice. Blech.)
• ¼ c. soy sauce
• 1 t. cornstarch dissolved in 1 t. water
• 4 – 6 oz. skinless Wild Caught Alaskan King Salmon fillets, cut from the thicker end; room temperature
• Slivered scallions or lime wedges for garnish, optional

Coconut Rice with Scallions and Cilantro for serving, optional.

Preheat oven to 400.

Place a small saucepan over medium low heat and melt the butter.  Add the shallot, garlic, and red pepper flakes and sauté for a few minutes until the shallot begins to soften.  Whisk in the brown sugar, increase the heat a little bit,  and cook for about five minutes, until the sugar is completely dissolved and mixture begins to bubble.  Add in the lime juice and the soy sauce, and bring up to a boil.  Boil gently until mixture is reduced to about ¾ c.  (this usually takes me about 7 minutes or so).  Stir the cornstarch and water mixture, then add to the soy / lime mixture.  Simmer gently until sauce thickens a bit, about three more minutes.  Set sauce to the side and keep warm.

Next, place a medium sized, oven proof sauté pan over medium high heat.  Allow the pan to come up to temperature while you pat the salmon fillets dry and season to taste with salt and pepper.  You’ll know the pan is hot enough when a drop of water evaporates almost immediately.  Add enough neutral cooking oil (canola, etc) to coat the bottom of the pan.  Add the salmon fillets, skinned side up.  Leave them there for a full three minutes without fiddling or scooting them around.  After three minutes, gently turn the salmon with a long spatula.  Spoon a bit of the reserved sauce over the fillets, and place them in the oven for 5 minutes to finish cooking.

Remove salmon from the oven.  Place scoops of rice on to four dinner plates, top with salmon fillets and an additional drizzle of sauce (I pass it at the table).  Garnish with slivered scallions or lime wedges if desired.

Coconut Rice with Scallions & Cilantro

Serves 4

• 1 ½ c. water
• 1 c. coconut milk, very well stirred
• 1 ½ c. basmati rice
• 1 t. salt
• 2 scallions, minced
• 1 T. fresh cilantro, minced

Place a medium sized saucepan over medium heat. Add the water, coconut milk, rice, and salt and stir to combine.  Bring to a boil over medium heat.  Cover tightly and simmer for 20 minutes.  Remove from heat and allow to stand covered for five minutes.  Fluff with a fork, and stir in the scallions and cilantro.  Serve with the Salmon dish.